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NOT YOUR PARENT'S PARADE

What to know: A 12 year old girl, fears the loss of her skateboarding mentor (and secret crush) when he enlists in the Marines.
Recommended age 10-18
Screenplay
PHILIP SURACI, JR.
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I found this script refreshing, entertaining and in some ways, very positive. I like that it goes against a stereotype of skater boys and girls being bad (at least out here in So Cal) and I like that Lyndsay is a young girl that wants to make a difference. It has a great message that violence and war aren't always the answer and the title really does fit the script. The characters are created well and the dialogue is believable and appropriate for the modern or slightly futuristic times. There is conflict and a satisfactory conclusion and children ages 12-18 would be engaged. The script is well-done.

Overall, there are very few grammatical or spelling errors. I did find one word (pg. 18) that I would suggest changing but did not catch any other words. It was easy for me to rate this script with a 4 out of a 5 stars.

The language used is appropriate to the age of the characters and I think that young middle-school age kids and teenagers could relate. There is one word that I would suggest changing (on page 18: suckas). I recommend for ages 9 to 18.

The characters are its greatest strength. They are likeable, easy to relate to and understand and fit well within the story line. I do think it would be helpful to know what year this takes place in. It is slightly far fetched with a woman President but that is actually refreshing. Another strength is the quality of descriptive writing done by the author. At times, I feel as if I am really there. Nicely done.

I do believe that this script has commercial potential. There's a good message and shows that kids can make a difference. The characters are likable and entertaining and it has a somewhat happy ending. I was satisfied with the conclusion.

A 12 year old girl, fears the loss of her skateboarding mentor (and secret crush) when he enlists in the Marines. She decides to try to bring him home by ending all war. With her friends, she embarks on a campaign to force all adults to sign an oath renouncing war by denying their parents their love and laughter. Through social media, courage and creativity, the plan takes off. The adults resist mightily. Yet, the children lead a non-violent rebellion that transforms society when the U.S. President finally signs the Oath for Victory Over Violence.
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